Snippet of a thought

 Glennon Doyle, who I like almost always and understand most of the time wrote a third book. I've been chugging away at it, when I remember to (amid pandemic-plus-regular-life-induced struggles), Anyway, here I am, trying to COVID my way through some things that are big and important and others that maybe aren't as much, and I'm not sure what is which. But I'm reading along and I get to this, 

"During the dinner I thought about how much I liked Liz and how sad it was that we wouldn't actually be able to be friends. Attempting to be her friend would be like intentionally writing a bad check. I am not a good friend. I have never been capable of or willing to commit to the maintenance that the rules of friendship dictate. [and I thought, Aha! I definitely get this part] I cannot remember birthdays. I do not want to meet for coffee. I will not host the baby shower. [and I thought, "uh oh. I guess I don't get it, because I like coffee and hosting.] I won't text back because it's an eternal game of Ping-Pong, the texting. It never ends. I inevitably disappoint friends so after enough of that, I decided I would stop trying..." [and I thought, well, maybe. Maybe I'm close enough to her definition that I am "right" in understanding whether I'm the same as someone else.] 

And then I giggled at myself. Really, the whole of this book can be summed up in the fact that we're all different, and it's in finding who we are, who WE really are on the underneath that is important. And I'd just decided I couldn't honestly relate to being a struggle-friend because my precise definition doesn't precisely match someone else's. 

So, Glennon. when you say, "I decided I would stop trying. I don't want to live in constant debt. This is okay with me. I have a sister and children and a dog." I can relate. I mean, to most of that. Some would argue that I don't "have" children, and that's okay. Because I'm not trying to live in constant debt, for sure. I do want to try and have friends and have coffee, but I don't want to live in that fear of debt, and so I'm trying to not. 

And I do have a pretty great sister and dog. 

*From Untamed, by Glennon Doyle, p.109.